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Only because of the title, I read it (or want anyway). It's obviously a vl too long title, but it works also, in a certain cuba gooding jr movies way. , P It's so delicious else, I do not know. And begin with: "A land in turmoil would not be winners must count." which ensures that k wants to read to know why not. And anywhere you look there is a bit more intelligent, as if you thought about it and eventually this conclusion have drawn "a land in turmoil (...) '. And you do it so dare to say, of z, it is so, and now I'm going to tell you what and why. What I like a little bit of regret is that from that rule not immediately into "Indeed," there begins only checked the explanation (if I remember correctly?) Of those winners wrom you should not count. For which are only what not to do - and what to do so. Although, especially your second stanza (a people would not waste time allowed) I think too much "in the way". I find your opening sentence only as strong and this effect gradually decreases by taking too long to go (so long to go on about what not to do). Immediately go to 'A land in turmoil' to 'this they have to do "to" after all * why *' seems more logical / nicer. The second verse I k nice enough, but not in the poem itself. It makes the poem, in my eyes, rather weaker than stronger. "They let themselves determine whether cuba gooding jr movies the there and then, and then, really better stay was" I can not actually find volrijm, but what is that "really better cuba gooding jr movies stay was" delicious! "With over so many heroes, so many socks on, there is no need to mop." OEH. I have a little bit of a soft spot for proverbs etc. and I think it's so great to have those things reflected in a poem. That you use something that everyone knows (a cliché, actually, but more interesting than the usual clich poems cliches, I think anyway) and then nt bit different. That's what I leu-heuk. Maybe because I have a picture in my head (from the proverb, but it can also be a fairy tale or bible or whatever), and it suddenly intertwined with a more appropriate image, a ther meaning. I do not know. "And besides! There is so much in so many fields and roads are no tears to see just what misgelukjes and misinterpretations. " cuba gooding jr movies That I do not understand completely. Or wait, you mean that it does not ljkt that a water emergency disaster comes? Then I understand him well. : ') But then I would be the transfer of your verses a little strange. First, "it is not necessary to mop up 'than' addition! the chance it's very small 'and then' they can on their slippers to a flood, if it happening. " And the transition from the penultimate to last stanza. cuba gooding jr movies Like there's a 'but' fog. "It's probably not BUT if it there, then it is no problem", something like that. "For just as there is nothing to be rescued, people eagerly fearless." Good eindzin. At the transition from long to short lines, worse I do not, no problem - it's nice / different. But in the last stanza n line protrudes quite a bit much? Then I suddenly much more syllables by plowing, which is confusing, because I was completely in the rhythm of the shorter lines go down, as it were. So maybe you can still be a little different cut / paste? But I think it's a beautiful poem. The ideas, being different than normal poems, cuba gooding jr movies I do not know, I think you just fun style. cuba gooding jr movies : ')
Quote: Or wait, you mean that it does not ljkt that a water emergency disaster comes? Then I understand him well. : ') cuba gooding jr movies But then I would be the transfer of your verses a little strange. cuba gooding jr movies First, "it is not necessary to mop up 'than'
Quote: Em. wrote:
Only because of the title, I read it (or want anyway). It's